Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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