just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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