I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
