Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
