i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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