Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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