Small penises have feelings too.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
