I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
