I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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