you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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