I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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