how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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