there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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