She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
