its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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