I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
