Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
