And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
