I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize