Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Are we still banned from the library?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't put those talents on a resume
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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