they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize