He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Go christen that room with your naked body.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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