I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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