I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
