I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
