no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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