Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
