Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize