I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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