I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
