And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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