then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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