Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
cat food counts as protein by the way
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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