we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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