i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
