It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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