Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize