Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
