There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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