you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
