fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
