Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
