Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
