If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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