Sry I called you an 8
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
