I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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