I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
