I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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