I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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