It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
