Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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