Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Two words: nipple clamps
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