I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
