I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
