How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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