Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize