My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
