Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
