Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
