is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
