The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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