The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize