You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You smell like stripper and shame
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
