I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
