My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
