How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
