I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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