Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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