i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
