If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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