I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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